Communicating Self Esteem

June 26th, 2012  Posted at   Parenting
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Linda Larsen of Sarasota, Fla., is a speaker who trains people through workshops and seminars on how to develop self-esteem (Linda Larsen Communications, Inc. and is author of “True Power,” (Brandywine, 2012, $12.95) and of an audio-cassette series, “12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem.

She provides the following tips for parents:
Work on yourself first. Your kids get their clearest picture from you of how life is supposed to be lived and what they need to do in order to fit in.
Create early positive self-definitions for your children. To young children, you are true, right and all-knowing.

Let your child be the judge. Sometimes your wisdom and experience will save them from harm. But there are plenty of times when you can let kids draw their own conclusions, without your input. You don’t want your children to make every choice based on what you think, but to make choices on what they think, too.

If you want a certain behavior to continue, acknowledge that behavior when it appears. It is considered one of the basic principles of management, and it works in the home too.

Listen up! Totally, actively. The tendency is to listen long enough to get the picture, and then start giving advice. Or telling children right away what happened to you as a child. Try saying things in response like, “So, it sounds like you were upset.” Or, “Let me understand you, you’re saying?.” That way children feel valued and understood. You don?t have to agree with them. You just have to listen and let them know you cared.

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